Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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