Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
