Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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