Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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