Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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