Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
40s are totally the cure
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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