Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We need to get me chipped asap
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize