im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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