does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
