spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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