I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize