Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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