I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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