And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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