Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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