Can i not drive my cunt home
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
