At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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