and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
