I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
