Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
