idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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