Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize