im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
