So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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