Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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