I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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