she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
