She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
