i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
