Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
