FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
