I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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