I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
