I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
