There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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