"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
