Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
