You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
