is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
