So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
