I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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