What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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