sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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