So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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