i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
