My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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