i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
