I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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