I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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