this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
