i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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