but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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