Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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