Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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