Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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