a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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