This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My dick has a subreddit
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
