4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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