She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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