Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
