You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
