planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize