Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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